Blythe Casual

Blythe Casual

An Interview with Carla Malden

Recently, I was delighted to be granted an interview by successful screenwriter, Carla Malden, daughter of the late Academy Award-winning actor, Karl Malden, who has written a compelling, thought provoking love story and memoir, Afterimage: A Brokenhearted Memoir of a Charmed Life.

Anyone, who has faced caring for and losing a loved one to cancer can relate to Carla's account in her book, of her 11-month struggle with her husband, Laurence Starkman, against the dreaded disease, his untimely death, and her own entry into early widowhood.

Laurence and Carla met in high school. They were childhood sweethearts married over 20 years, when he was diagnosed. Living without him was unthinkable to Carla; not seeing their daughter, Cami, graduate from college, marry, and start a family of her own, was unthinkable to Laurence. He wanted to be there for them. The will to survive seemed to arrest the painful nightmare growing within him. Surgery seemed to have worked; then came the pain and denial.

When I started reading this gripping memoir, I empathized with the heartbreak and loneliness that Carla felt when she was blindsided with her husband's diagnosis.  I felt her exhilaration when his initial surgery was successful. It compelled me to think about similar life experiences that have happened to my own family and close friends. I cried when the treatment seemed to work, but more pain set in and the cancer returned to claim Carla's husband. Their daughter Cami was heartbroken, but managed to remain cheerful in front of her father and spent quality time with him when it counted.

Actress Blythe Danner says "Carla Malden traces the awful journey of her young husband's illness and death with such precision and care, expressing the emotion between the exhilaration of hope and the darkness of reality so powerfully, that her eloquence turns grief into poetry and enlightenment."

I asked to interview Carla because the story unfolded to reveal a woman of devotion, stamina, and perseverance; and I wanted to learn more.

Today she says that she is doing well and "has built a productive, fulfilling life" around the gaping hole that will always be there. 

Carla has been a screenwriter and published author for over twenty years. During most of them, she worked closely with her husband, Laurence. She also co-authored with her father, Karl Malden, his autobiographical memoir, When Do I Start? She lives in Brentwood, CA.

The book is being released by Globe Pequot Press in May 2011. Look for her virtual book tour at Pump Up Your Book, pumpupyourbook.com, with the release. You can visit her website at www.carlamalden.com.

Following is my interview with Carla:

Q1

You and Laurence were a successful writing team, who inspired you to get into screen writing initially and how did that evolve?

I always wanted to be a writer my whole life, not necessarily a screen writer, but I knew that I wanted to write. Laurence came out of the 1960s-inspired school of underground film making and he always wanted to be a film maker.  As you know from our book, we met in our senior year in high school, very young, and our lives grew together like a grafted tree. We merged those things and began writing and filmmaking together. Our standard answer to how that all evolved was that I was the more verbal one and he the more visual, which is how things started out, but those lines blurred and we learned from each other and picked up each other's slack, and also absorbed each other's strengths.

Q2

What work that you and Laurence produced are you most proud of?

Aside from our daughter? I would say probably a Short that we made that was all ours; a short film that we produced and wrote together and Laurence directed called "Whit & Charm," a romantic comedy. It was an entirely in-house production. We originally made it as a calling card for Laurence when he wanted to get more into directing. It won a lot of awards, but it is not currently available on DVD.

Q3

What was the impetus that made you decide to write your book?

I woke up one morning and I was a widow. For someone of our generation that just didn't compute. We were supposed to be the "forever young" generation; how could I be a widow if I didn't feel like a grown-up yet? I think part of why I wrote the book was to try to make sense of that experience and to reclaim my life. Not just to remember the tragedy, trauma, and devastation, but also the wonderful life, Laurence's and mine, which is why I used the phrase "Charmed Life" in the book's subtitle. Our lives were so enmeshed together, both our professional and personal lives, that I didn't want it to be just a love letter to him, although I needed to do that too, but more to reclaim my own life and discover what I could do by myself.

Q4

While you were writing your book, did you feel that Laurence was there inspiring you in some way?

He's always there. It was no different writing the book. I found the process of grieving to be very fracturing. By that I mean that as I went about my life, I felt high functional -- I didn't feel like I was in shock, though looking back I was in shock.  That's what the business of grieving was like: mind and body constantly split.  I was sitting across the table from a friend,  but what I was really doing was grieving; I was at the symphony,  but I was in the business of grieving; I was at the movies, but I was grieving. But, when I sat down to write, I was all  in one place. It was a horrible place, but it was a relief to be in one place -- body, mind, and heart, And Laurence was in that place with me.  Always will be.

Q5

Which part of Afterimage was the hardest to write?

The "scenes" of him actually dying - the last day of his life. And the day of the original diagnosis.

Q6

Did you have a strong support group for this project?

I didn't tell anyone about it except maybe a few people in the most casual way. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a project just for myself, or how it would actually evolve. I didn't know what it was going to grow up to be. Then, when I'd finished, I gave it to a very few  in a small circle of friends to read. They began to ask me if they could share it with others who had recently lost someone.  It started to take on a life of its own.  It ended up being passed from book club to book club and spiraled from there. I certainly never wanted to use my personal experience with grieving as a template for anyone else, but the book seems to have enough universal qualities that it has touched a nerve with people who have read it so far.

Q7

If a reader can come away from reading your book with one valuable message, what would you want that to be?

I hope everyone can come away from it with something personal. I used snapshots in the book to define a life well lived. The snapshots of life, rather than the framed portraits on the mantle of the graduations, weddings, and reunions and special times are what capture moments of human connection, I think. What I call Snapshots are these little tiny captured moments of life. Going through this tragedy made me a better person. So I would say that if I wanted anyone to take something from the book it would be: Seize the moment. I'm a better person now; I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I'm more generous of spirit and open with people and experiences. You know, let's bring a little love to those who mean the most to us, rather than just the grocery checker.

Q8

Do you plan subsequent books or screenplays?

I'm not returning to screenwriting right now. I may, but not right now. I'm just finishing my first novel. I can't really talk about it yet but I will look forward to telling you about it during another interview. 

Q9

Are you familiar with the social networks and do you actively participate?

Yes, my daughter, Cami, has set up a fan page for Afterimage: http://www.facebook.com/pages/AfterImage-A-Brokenhearted-Memoir-of-a-Charmed-Life/112782032123674?sk=wall. You can click ‘like' to join. Please do.

Q10

Do you have any advice for writers aspiring to become successful screenwriters?

Keep practicing your craft. You have to love it and be passionate about it; not to just get it on the screen because the chances of that happening are ridiculously slim. You have to really love the process – the process has to be its own reward.  If you go into screenwriting expecting anything else, you're setting yourself up for huge disappointment. With any form of writing, you have to do it because you have no choice – there's nothing else you feel anywhere near as strongly drawn to – or else it's not for you.

Q11

Where can readers purchase a copy of your book?

Pre-orders are available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and my website www.carlamalden.com.

About the Author

Technical staff writer with McGraw-Hill for 12 years. Member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists (NSNC), the Robert Benchley Society, and the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop.

Author of humor book "Sitting on Cold Porcelain" and a humor column "Skinny Dipping" at Rosie's Renegade Humor Blog - http://www.rosevalenta.com

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